The Appointment
by Estrella
Summary: A followup to Raising Takoda that looks for a simple answer to a complicated question. Rated PG13 for adult themes and suggestive language concerning where babies come from.
1. Just Checking

Author's Note: Re-edit time! I'm going to have fun going through this story with a fine tooth comb. Most likely because it's my shortest one to date. Say good-bye to the little flaws everybody. They'll be gone after this... hopefully.

"_Sally, I am afraid I will need to see both you and Jack to continue this discussion."_- Venus, Raising Takoda

The Appointment

What a week. Venus had been going over every little intricacy of the topic of love, babies, and that often misunderstood three letter word. How on Earth was she going to handle this? The goddess pouted at herself then for even thinking this was beyond her. She was the Goddess of Love for Jupiter's sake! How could she shirk her responsibilities at a time like this? Still, she could tell this was going to be difficult from the moment her son caught her practicing her opening words.

"Babies are lovely things," Venus started, looking into a mirror and then stopping. "Things? Come on now, Lovey, you can do better than that," she said to her reflection before starting again. "Love is very complicated, you two. Pay attention... oh, I sound like a bloody schoolmistress."

"I would ask why you were talking to yourself, but I already know you are a bit mad, Mother," Cupid said, startling Venus into turning from the mirror.

"When did you get here?"

"A few minutes ago."

"Did you bring them?"

"Of course. They are waiting in the Main Chamber. Mother, do you have any idea what you are doing?"

"None at all, but that is not going to stop me."

"I figured as much. Need any help?"

"Psyche's expecting, so she can be a prime example of what is to come, if that is possible for them. Bring her over. Oh, and give the Stork a call, he usually handles these things much more sensitively."

"Anything else?"

"If you see Valentine, you had better not open your mouth to him. I mean it."

"Yes, Mother," Cupid said as he took to the air. "Do not expect me for a good half hour," he called as he took off through the building and into the sky.

"Well, here goes nothing," Venus said to herself as she took in a deep breath and carried herself gracefully into the Main Chamber.

As the goddess strolled through her temple, Jack and Sally were seated in gigantic, fluffy pink cushions. They felt as odd as they looked, but they were too polite to say anything against them. Besides, everything in Valentine Town was pink or red. It was natural. Besides, they weren't here to give designing advice to the Goddess of Love. They were here on more important matters.

"So she said babies have to be made?" Jack asked Sally as he tried to make himself comfortable on the cushion.

"Yes. She mentioned something else too. Six or sex or something along those lines," Sally said as she rested her head on her right hand.

"This gets stranger by the day."

"It sure does."

"Hey, I think I see her," Jack said as he pushed himself to his feet and then pulled Sally up to hers.

"Venus? Is that you?" Sally asked the striding figure coming towards them.

"If it isn't my favorite odd couple," Venus said, air kissing the both of them. "How have you been these past seven days?"

"Wondering about the forbidden question," Sally said.

"Forbidden, dear?"

"Well, every person we ask about babies tends to look bewildered and what they say leads us nowhere," Jack sighed. "We figured knowing where a baby comes from is top secret information."

"Hardly," Venus said dryly. "That aspect of life is everywhere nowadays, almost sickening, and I happen to promote it for a living."

"So you do know what it is," Jack said with a wide smile. "Does it involve the Stork?"

"It does, as a matter of fact, but not in the conventional matter," Venus said.

"I knew it!" Jack exclaimed. "What about cabbage patches?"

"That was just a way for toy-makers to sell dolls not too long ago. That's rubbish if you ask me."

"Well, at least you were half right, Jack," Sally said.

"Now, on to business," Venus started before looking Jack up and down. "Well, drop your knickers."

"Excuse me?" Jack asked, not sure he heard Venus' request right.

"You know, your pants. Trousers. Things covering the bottom half of your body. Drop them."

"Venus, excuse me, but what does that have to do with anything?" Sally asked.

"Absolutely everything."

"But I don't want to drop my knickers," Jack said sheepishly.

"Well, drop them in private and then let me take a peek."

"Why?"

"I need to see what you have down there."

"Venus, I was walking around in an orange diaper not too long ago."

"It covered the part of your body that has to be inspected."

"You won't be asking _me_ to drop anything, will you?" Sally asked Venus, slowly backing away from the goddess.

"Not at first, but now that I think about it-"

"You know, maybe this wasn't such a good idea," Jack said to Sally as he too started to back away from Venus.

"Oh no you don't. You two came here for answers and I want to give them to you, but first Jack has to drop his knickers."

"If I do, will you please get on with the answers?" Jack asked Venus.

"Of course. Come on, I am the Goddess of Love. I know what I am talking about."

Jack and Sally looked at one another and sighed at the same time. Defeated, Jack walked deeper into the temple, followed by Venus and Sally. He stepped behind a large dressing screen and did just as Venus asked him to. He poked his head around the edge of the screen, blushing slightly as he asked Venus to step over and take a _short_ look. The goddess made her way over to the dressing screen, looked over at Jack for a moment, and then made the loudest "A-HA!" possible.

"What is it?" Sally asked.

"Nothing," Venus replied as she walked back to Sally.

"Nothing?" Jack asked. "You've got to be kidding."

"Oh, I wish I was, Jack. See, you're a skeleton. As a skeleton, you are missing, erm, certain capabilities that living men have. Like being able to stand on two feet while urinating, for instance."

"Henry said I could sit down," Jack said from behind the screen.

"Henry?" Venus asked.

"Long story," Jack replied.

"Anyway, another capability living men have is being able to have children with, in most cultures, their wives."

"What does that have to do with standing up when I go to the bathroom?"

"Everything. Put your pants back on, you're both going to be here for quite a while and I wouldn't want you sniffling from a draft."

"This is turning out to be pretty odd if you ask me," Jack said as he put on his pants.

"It has only begun, loves. Trust me, it gets much more complicated than that."

"It does?" Sally asked Venus as Jack stepped out from behind the screen.

"Oh yes. Now that we have gotten that out of the way, I think it is about time I starting giving you some answers."

Poor Jack. The story barely begins and he ends up pantless. Looks like our favorite couple has gotten in way over their heads, not that it's the first time that's happened. Can Venus really figure out a way for them to have kids of their own? Or are they just not capable of having any natural babies? Does Venus really think Cupid can keep his mouth shut? Only one way to find out.


	2. Curiouser and Curiouser

Author's Note: Happy Belated Easter! Let's hope the pink bunny didn't get any scares delivering eggs this year. Poor little guy's gone through enough, as far as we know. If you don't know what I'm talking about, check out The Nightmare Before Christmas, that'll clue you in. The movie, based on a poem, is the imagination sparker of many, including myself. None of us own it, unless Tim Burton's writing fanfiction and we don't know about it. Come on Tim, show yourself! Then again, Danny Elfman and Henry Selick could always be incognito too, so could any Disney or Touchstone Picture workers, or Capcom gaming people for that matter. Yeah, I'll stop this before it gets too paranoid.

"Come along now. We can talk in the gardens," Venus said to Jack and Sally as she practically glided ahead of the couple.

"Are you ok?" Sally whispered to Jack as they followed the goddess.

"Better than before," Jack whispered back to Sally before looking ahead to Venus. "You know, I don't like where this is all going."

"Neither do I. Think if we run now, she'll notice?"

"I've seen her angry, and to be honest, it's scary. We shouldn't risk it."

"Wow," Sally said. "Wish I had some Deadly Nightshade right about now."

"You and me both," Jack replied before they both bumped into a paused Venus.

"What are you two murmuring about?" she asked the pair, crossing her arms and tapping her right foot curiously.

"Murmuring, us? No, we were just, um... Sally, what were we talking about?"

"Let's see, it was all about... six?"

"Yes! Six."

"Six?" Venus asked in a slightly skeptical tone. "Six what?"

"You know, _six_," Sally said. "The word you told me."

"You two are so adorably innocent," Venus giggled as they stepped out into the gardens.

"Ah!" Jack exclaimed as he covered his eye sockets upon catching a glimpse of the garden's flowers. "I've never seen so many colors in my afterlife, and I've been to Christmas Town."

"The flowers cause you pain?" Venus asked as she sat herself at a round table.

"No," Jack said as he reopened his eye sockets and blinked a few times. "Just something to get used to. Very different."

"I do not recall them causing you pain," Venus said to Sally as they sat down. "Then again, you seem to be more used to color," the goddess added, looking at Sally's patched dress.

"I guess," Sally said before changing the subject. "There are a few more chairs, are there going to be other people joining us?"

"My son should be returning in a while with the Stork. Psyche should be coming along as well. She is expecting, you know."

"We remember," Jack said cheerfully. "How is she feeling?"

"Under the weather, unfortunately. Poor thing throws up at least once every two hours."

"Is that normal?" Sally asked.

"It is. Pregnancy is a rare stage in life that is both beautiful and ugly, if I do say so myself."

"Pregnancy? I thought she was expecting," Jack said as he began to scratch his head in confusion.

"That is another way to put it, a figure of speech," Venus said.

"Oh. Like a mortal saying they're dead tired when they're still alive. Got it," Jack concluded proudly.

"Is she throwing up because she's nervous?" Sally asked. "She shouldn't be, she looks like she'd be a good mother."

"No. Just another, erm, 'mechanism' of the female body. Hormones fluctuate and all kinds of madness happen. Just think of menstruation, which, praise the gods, halts during pregnancy," Venus said before looking over to Jack, "Sorry if this talk offends you, Jack. I know it is not customary for men to speak of such things. They can be disgusted by it. Women too to be quite honest."

"That's ok. I have no idea what you're talking about anyway," Jack replied.

"Neither do I," Sally added. "I lost you at menstation."

"Missing a few letters there, love. It's men-_stru_-ation."

"Right. What is that?" Sally asked, immediately regretting she even posed the question when Venus' jaw dropped wide open.

"Let me get this gathered. You have no idea what menstruation is?" Venus asked.

"None whatsoever."

"You are by far the _luckiest_ woman in the known UNIVERSE!" Venus exclaimed, standing up and raising her arms to the skies. "To think, a grown woman who does not have to deal with month after month of... uh-oh."

"Uh-oh?" Sally asked.

"Is this a good or bad uh-oh?" Jack asked when Venus sat back down.

"Bad uh-oh. Very bad uh-oh."

"Why?" the couple asked, surprisingly in unison.

"If you do not menstruate, then that means you do not have a womb. If you do not have a womb, you cannot carry a child."

"Now just wait a minute!" Jack exclaimed, getting up indignantly. "Sally does too have a room. We share one. And she has arms, so she can carry anything she wants. She and I both carried Takoda when we had him. And what do rooms have to do with arms? I thought we were getting answers!"

"Jack, calm down," Sally said, grabbing his right arm.

"I said womb," Venus said, stressing the 'b' in the word. "Not room. It is an organ in the female body that houses a child until it is born."

"Oh," Jack said, sitting back down, feeling slightly embarrassed.

"Well, I don't have any organs," Sally said to Venus before she bit her lip awkwardly.

"No organs? Dear, what_ do_ you have?"

"Leaves, mostly. Then there's electricity that courses through me, and a soul too."

"Oh my. This is going to be much harder than I thought," Venus said before another person walked into the gardens.

She was lovely as ever, if looking a bit paler than usual. Psyche wasn't beginning to physically show her impending motherhood quite yet. Though, the bucket she seemed to be lugging around seemed to give a clue that she wasn't in her best shape. She nodded politely to Jack and Sally before whispering something to Venus that made the goddess' eyes widen. Venus reluctantly excused herself before running back into the temple at light speed. At that point, Psyche sat herself at the table across from Jack and Sally.

"Is everything alright?" Sally asked Psyche, who was suppressing the urge to use her bucket at the moment.

"I've heard you two are looking for a little one for yourselves," Psyche said, taking a deep breath. "I think it's sweet. Congratulations."

"Thank you," Jack started, "but we really have no clue how to have a baby. Frankly, Venus hasn't been helping us as much as we hoped."

"Oh no! What has that loon put you through?"

"Well, first Jack had to drop his knickers. Venus wasn't too happy about finding nothing," Sally said.

"Jack, you're a skeleton," Psyche said to the confounded Pumpkin King. "What _would_ she find?"

"I'd tell you, but I don't want to offend a mother-to-be," Jack said, crossing his arms and nodding to Sally to continue.

"Then, Venus was shocked to hear I didn't menstruate, whatever that is. Apparently, I don't have a womb and can't carry a child. I have arms though, but I don't think they matter."

"Sally, I'm sure when Venus gets back, she'll get her act together. I can answer any questions either of you have too. Besides, I might have to for a while."

"Why would you have to do that, Psyche?" Sally asked.

"Saint Valentine stormed into the temple just when I did. He was very intent on seeing Venus right now. Chances are he's going to be yelling at her about something or other."

"With our luck, it's probably our fault he's here," Jack sighed. "All we want to know is how we can start a family if and when we decide to. Is it really that big a deal?"

"It shouldn't be, but it is," Psyche said, shaking her head.

"So much for simple answers," Sally said to Jack.

"Now, now, don't give up yet. I for one am not going to let you two leave here empty-handed. After all, I'm having a baby myself. Who better to give answers than me?" Psyche asked before the urge to use her bucket really overpowered her. "Excuse me," she said as she ran off with the bucket into a secluded place for her to use it.

"Jack, I'm a bit scared."

"Me too, and I'm supposed to be the scare master."

"If we even have a family, can we wait until we've been married for, I don't know, a hundred years?" Sally asked.

"By this point, I was thinking about starting after a thousand years," Jack replied.

Jack and Sally looked at each other for a moment before laughing at the same time. This was all so silly and serious, they had no idea how to feel. They sat closer together as they waited for Psyche to come back, so close that Sally rested her head against Jack's chest. Was it worth all this discombobulation and madness to have children of their own? Was it even possible? Well, one thing was certain- they weren't leaving until they found something, _anything _out for sure.

Cupid's so busted when he comes home! What does Saint Valentine have to say about all of this? Can Psyche really give any help to the innocent pair? What answers, if any, will Jack and Sally leave with? Stick around to find out. (Re-edit Comment: Oh such confusion over something so sweet and innocent. Life's a real kick in the pants sometimes.)


	3. Deep in Conversation

Author's Note: Oh my, seems what started at a question is snowballing into quite a little controversy. The whole idea behind it came from my brains, which were inspired by The Nightmare Before Christmas. The plotline is original, hopefully, but the characters used to portray it are not for the most part. Oh, and for any of you who take the whole "My name is for you to find out" part of my bio seriously, e-mail your guess to me, first names only, no last names or minor details of my life. That's a tad spooky. My e-mail's in my bio. Get it wrong, no imaginary cookie. Get it right, imaginary cookie of your own creation. Happy guessing and read on!

What Jack and Sally didn't know, among other things, was that they were being watched at the moment. Saint Valentine looked from inside the temple before turning his furious gaze back to Venus. That pagan goddess was always up to no good behind his back. She was the reason their whole holiday was almost ruined in the first place. No, Saint Valentine had to put his foot down this time, even if Venus had a rational explanation for messing with nature.

"Just what in God's name do you think you are doing?" Saint Valentine asked in a whisper.

"What? Am I not allowed to entertain guests?" Venus asked, fluttering her eyelids and playing dumb.

"No need to bother distracting me, Cupid let me in on the whole thing. At least you raised him to tell the truth."

"How long did he last under your wonderful inquisition? Longer than five minutes?"

"Three."

"Well, that would explain how you got here so fast," Venus said in a disappointed tone. "What do you know?"

"I know you are trying to explain the "facts of life" to dead people. Do you hear _anything_ wrong with that sentence?" Saint Valentine asked.

"Come on, Valentine. You make it sound like I am plotting someone's murder."

"You are messing with Nature. The fact is dead people are dead. They have no capacity to create or carry life. You've surely realized this by now, have you not?"

"Those are minor obstacles I can fix."

"Fix? Look at them! He is a skeleton and-"

"You know, for being the Saint of Love, I never thought you could be intolerant," Venus said.

"What do you mean by intolerant?" Saint Valentine asked as he put his hands on his hips.

"Well, just because Jack is a skeleton does not mean he should not have children."

"I am not saying he should not have children. I am pointing out that he incapable of doing so."

"Which is something I can fix."

"How on Earth can you fix that? And what about the Sally? Do you really think she is emotionally ready to become a mother? Doesn't the poor girl have enough with one overgrown child running around?"

"Valentine, take a good, long look at them," Venus said as she pointed the saint's line of vision back to the garden. "You can just feel the love they share without having to listen to them say one word. If children were born into an environment such as the one they could provide, odd as it may be, you have to admit that there would be less unhappy children growing into unhappy people."

"But it goes against everything in Nature," Saint Valentine sighed, already beginning to give in.

"Valentine, I am going to help them with or without your blessing. If you join now, it will make things easier down the road."

The saint sighed once more and decided that this time, _this time_, he would let Venus do things as she saw fit. He walked outside with her to Find Psyche coming back to the table with a considerably lighter bucket. Apparently, she had done Venus the favor of fertilizing some plants. As all three of the Valentine Townsfolk sat down, they took a collective breath and continued the whole facts of life talk.

"Now, where were we?" Venus asked.

"My lack of organs," Sally volunteered.

"Ah, yes. Now, you have to at least have a digestive system to eat and drink, so you are not completely organ-less. I have seen you drink tea, so I know that has to be true," Venus said to Sally.

"Is that a good thing?" Jack asked.

"Yes, it is," Venus said, smiling when Jack and Sally shared a quick, hopeful glance at one another. "You will need to have a way to feed the child as it develops within you, and the womb gets food from the mother's digestive system."

"Wait," Sally interrupted. "How would a baby get in my body in the first place? They're pretty big."

"Oh, they're not always that size," Psyche said. "They start out very small."

"Really? Microscopic, even?" Jack asked.

"If that means very tiny, then yes. My baby's about the size of a leaf right about now. He or she was even tinier before."

"From the point the child comes into existence, he or she grows in the mother's body," Saint Valentine said, finally getting into the conversation. "He or she develops for around forty weeks, within the traditional nine month waiting period from conception to birth. That is plenty of time to grow."

"I knew I should have brought a notebook," Jack said. "This is all so fascinating."

"No need to fret, the mortals are obsessed with babies. You can find anything on the topic in the Real World," Venus said before pausing to correct herself. "Well, to be honest, a good lot of them prefer the process of creating a baby than actually raising and caring for one."

"You be careful if you do research in the Real World," Saint Valentine said. "A lot of those humans have less than clean minds."

"How can something associated with babies be unclean?" Sally asked before she opened her eyes wide. "Oh! Are we talking about six?"

"Sweetie, six is a number. What we are referring to right now is sex, the odd world of pleasure, sickness, bawdy humor, and love all rolled into a complicated package," Venus said.

"It sounds confusing," Jack said. "My head's beginning to hurt, mind if I take it off?"

"You can take off your head?" Saint Valentine asked with a surprised look on his face.

"Yes. It would make me feel a little better if I took it off."

"Well, knock yourself out," Venus said, not even flinching when Jack took his head off and rested it on the table.

"Much better," said Jack's head as his body leaned against Sally.

"Excuse me again," Psyche said as she ran off with the bucket once more.

"Sorry!" Jack exclaimed to Psyche, a little too late.

"Now, now, pregnant women can be set off to a bucket or near bathroom by anything. It is part of the whole deal. Sometimes the baby does not quite agree with what the mother eats or sees, or does for that matter," Venus said to Jack's head reassuringly, which blinked in response.

"Venus, where does the whole sex thing take place when it comes to having babies?" Sally asked.

"At the very beginning. Without it, there would be no children. Is that not a passage in your holy book, Saint Valentine?" Venus asked smugly.

"Yes, the Lord told Adam and Eve to go forth and multiply, I remember," Saint Valentine replied, still amazed that Jack could remove his head.

"After he was ever so rude in kicking them out of Paradise too."

"They broke the rules."

"Valentine, if eating was breaking the rules, everyone would be forever imprisoned."

"It was not eating that was the bad act, Venus, it was what they ate," Saint Valentine said before noticing the utter looks of bewilderment on Jack and Sally's faces. "We had better stop the theological discussion for now, Venus."

"Agreed. Sally, Jack, the point is that the bodily union between man and woman is what creates children. That is sex."

"Bodily union?" Jack's head asked as his right index finger tapped the table. "What does that mean, exactly? Holding hands?"

"Not at all," Saint Valentine said. "Well, you certainly are lost."

"Wait a minute," Jack said. "Does this go back to how I use the bathroom?"

"Yes!" Venus exclaimed. "See, Valentine? They're learning!"

"So _that_ was necessary for something other than urinating?" Jack asked before his hands picked up his head and fastened it on his neck. "No wonder Henry asked me if I had anything else troubling me!"

"Again with that Henry fellow," Venus said. "Who is he?"

"He was the Pumpkin King before me, he taught me everything I know. He failed to mention anything about sex though."

"He probably felt since you were dead, you wouldn't have a desire to start a family," Saint Valentine said, "and the fact that you are a skeleton makes it, well, anatomically impossible."

"He must have been expecting you to live an afterlife of celibacy," Venus said.

"Celibacy?" Sally asked.

"Life without a partner. As in, you two would not even be allowed to kiss, let alone have children."

"Well, he was wrong," Jack said. "I'm not saying we want any children now, unless-"

"No, none yet," Sally said, assuring Jack to continue his train of thought.

"My point is that Sally and I fell in love. We want to live as the rulers of our land and marry. We also would like to have little ones of our own running around our house someday," Jack stated.

"How could we not after taking care of Takoda that whole time?" Sally asked.

"Calm down, you two," Venus said. "I know this must be very frustrating for you right now, but I can make the impossible happen, loves. After a little more explanation on the subject of where little bundles of joy come from, I think you will be ready for my magic."

"You do?" Jack asked.

"I do. Now, cheer up. I see my son flying back to us, and he has brought the Stork with him. If anyone else can give you solid information on babies, it's him."

Well, well, the infamous Stork. What is he like? What info and advice can he give to dead people who want to create life? Will poor Psyche feel better after using the bucket another time? More to come, so stick around, loves. (Re-edit Comment: Imagine, a former priest and a Love Goddess explaining the facts of life to dead people. I'm scared to think of what I'd come up with if I ever took any narcotics.)


	4. Ask the Expert

Author's Note: Ladies and gentlemen, the Stork has entered the story. He wasn't in The Nightmare Before Christmas, which is where this and many of my others stories sprang from. I kind of own his portrayal here, unlike Jack or Sally, who sprang from the wonderful minds of Tim Burton, Danny Elfman, Henry Selick, Disney, and Touchstone Pictures. However, the Stork has been around for ages and ages, you know, because telling kids the 'facts of life' is really tough. Then again, telling Jack and Sally is no picnic either.

Cupid and his avian companion landed just paces away from the round table. The god took the white bundle the Stork was carrying in his long beak so he could speak when he had the chance. He was a very odd looking stork. He was wearing a blue jacket and cap, as if he were some kind of mail carrier; instead of having a postage company badge on his jacket, it was a square patch split in half, one side was blue, the other was pink. That same patch was found on the front of his cap. Just below the rim of the cap, the group at the round table could make out glasses peeking over the Stork's brown eyes, eyes that were focusing on, of all things, Jack.

"You're the new boy?" he asked, pointing his right wing at Jack.

"New boy?" Jack asked.

"Well, Henry said you weren't the sharpest knife in the drawer," the Stork said before looking to Cupid. "Hey, look in that bag and take out my letter. Give it to the new boy."

"Here you go," Cupid said as he handed a letter to Jack. "So, how has everything gone?" the God of Love asked, looking at the group.

"Son, Go find Psyche and bring her back. We won't mind if she retches in the bucket, this is a golden opportunity for her to see the Stork," Venus said to Cupid. "Oh, and when this is all over, I am going to sew your mouth shut."

"Why?" Cupid asked before noticing that Saint Valentine was there. "Oh, right. Well, I'll be back," Cupid finished before handing the bag back to the Stork and flying off yet again.

"Take a seat, Mr. Stork," Saint Valentine said as the bird gently placed the white bag on the table and sat down between Venus and Sally.

"Much obliged," said the Stork before turning to Jack. "Oh, and sorry for taking so long with the souls, kid. I figured once you had that first one under control, you'd be ready for the rest of them."

"You know each other?" Venus asked the Stork.

"Supposed to, but things kind of got in the way in the Real World," the Stork explained.

"That's another story," Jack added.

"Mr. Stork, can you help us too?" Sally asked.

"Sure. What's the problem?" the Stork asked.

"Cupid didn't tell you?" Saint Valentine asked. "Well, that is a surprise."

"We were in a rush. I had to deliver some souls before I could get here. I have a team taking care of any births happening right now so I could be here."

"Well, to summarize," Venus started as he waved her hand towards the hopeful couple, "Jack and Sally here want to be open to the possibility of having children one day. There are a few biological kinks in their way that I can fix-"

"Or make worse," Saint Valentine interrupted.

"Oh hush, you!" Venus exclaimed before continuing. "We have yet to cover all of the aspects of how children are formed, but we will get to that, honest."

"What do you know so far?" the Stork asked Sally.

"We're missing organs," Sally said. "I'm missing a womb and Jack... Jack, what are you missing?"

"I'd rather not say," Jack said, clearing his throat and blushing slightly.

"You're a skeleton," the Stork said. "I know. It rhymes with her name," he said, nodding towards Venus.

"Well, I never thought of explaining it that way," the goddess said. "Good show."

"I work with the souls of children. You learn to be very careful with the subjects you bring up around them. They can become corrupted very easily," the Stork explained to Venus before turning back to Jack and Sally. "And you two are dead. You do realize that the dead aren't supposed to have kids, right?"

"Does it matter if we're dead or not? I know we can provide a loving home for any of our children," Jack said.

"It's just never been done before. Though, I can imagine why you two would want this so badly. You never had the chance to have a true love or a family of your own in your lives. It's a subconscious desire that has been brought up by the whole situation with the Native baby."

"Wait," Sally said as her eyes widened. "You know who we were before we died?"

"I know who everyone is, was, or is to become. My job isn't what people think it is."

"What is it then?" Jack asked.

The Stork replied by undoing the knot keeping his white bundle together. When it came undone, it spread out all over the table. Inside were tiny little balls of light, no bigger than pearls. They glowed with purity and bustled with energy. The Stork looked down upon them proudly before clearing his throat and explaining just what he had in his bundle.

"I am in charge of souls. I deliver them to developing children just before they're born. When they're born, my team and I watch over them and make sure they do what they are meant to do. That applies for life and afterlife, good and bad."

"Wow. Those are all people?" Sally asked, fighting the urge to pick a soul up.

"For the most part, Sally. Animals have souls too," the Stork said as he heard a ruffling of wings. "Well, look who's back."

"Mr. Stork, this is my wife, Psyche," Cupid said as he led a slightly dizzy Psyche over to the table.

"Don't worry, the nausea will let up in a month," the Stork said.

"Thank you," Psyche said as she and Cupid sat down.

"Is this everybody?" the Stork asked Venus.

"I believe so," the goddess replied.

"Alright. So as I was saying, that bundle never carried babies. Just souls," the Stork repeated to the complete group.

"Then why do the mortals think babies come in the bag?" Jack asked.

"Not all mortals think that, only children do."

"Why?" Sally asked.

"Well, the humans have this, well, _shame_ about where babies come from," the Stork began. "A lot of them think it's kind of evil, so they tell their young a story about a stork bringing children into the world until they feel they are mature enough to know the truth," the Stork explained before pausing for breath. "Then there are those that exploit the act for their own satisfaction, and sometimes profit. Now, there's nothing wrong with getting satisfaction from it, that's part of the whole deal."

"What about profit?" Jack asked.

"Not part of the deal," the Stork said. "See, the whole combination of shame and people who abuse the most intimate act of love make even speaking about it taboo."

"Too bad," Cupid interrupted. "Such a shame something that was meant to be so beautiful turned so ugly."

"Indeed. Don't even get me started on the diseases people give each other," the Stork said to Cupid.

"Diseases?" Jack and Sally asked.

"You two plan to be true to one another, right? No other men or women for you?" the Stork asked.

"No. Never," Jack said and Sally nodded in agreement.

"Stick to that and you won't need to worry about catching anything."

"That's a relief," Sally said.

"Now, let's get away from all those bad aspects. You two want to have kids when you're ready, right?" the Stork asked as Sally and Jack nodded towards him. "I figure some time as a couple, and only a couple, will do you some good. Venus, you can go over anything they want to do to ensure that situation."

"I will, Mr. Stork. When the time comes," the goddess said.

"Jack, I'll give you a follow-up on that list of souls I gave you in a while. For the record, you two will make fine parents when you're ready. Believe me, I know," the Stork said. "If you all may excuse me, I'm running a little late on soul deliveries."

Cupid took this as a hint to tie up the bundle of souls and let the Stork take it in his beak. With a wink to the group, the Stork took flight and soon disappeared into the clouds. Psyche sighed, still amazed that she witnessed who was in charge of her baby's soul while Saint Valentine seemed to be in a foul mood. Venus quickly escorted Jack and Sally back into the temple before they got a chance to ask him what was the matter.

"Pay no mind to Valentine. He is against innovative planning," Venus said.

"Why would he be against that?" Jack asked Venus.

"I am not sure, to be honest. Something to do with interfering with Nature. If you ask me, we are simply postponing it for the shortest of time."

"How will we do that?" Sally asked the goddess as the three stepped in front of golden doors in the shape of a heart.

"You shall soon see, dearies. Now is the time for me to work my magic," Venus said as she knocked on the doors three times and watched them open to the mystery that lay within.

What is Venus planning? What kind of magic will she use on Jack and Sally? Will Saint Valentine try to put a stop to any of this? That's all for another chapter to tell. ( Re-edit Comment: I can't wait to bring the Stork back.)


	5. Enchanting

Author's Note: Let's hope the good old Goddess of Love knows her old tricks well. We wouldn't want Jack turning into a skeleton frog now would we? Speaking of Jack, he and Sally are the romantic protagonists of The Nightmare Before Christmas. That film, derived from a poem by Tim Burton, is what this and pretty much all of my stories here are based on. I had no part in the film's creation, but I've watched it many a time. I grew to love it and then I started writing about it, and that's where I stand- not a creator, just a fan.

It was a circular room with all of its light streaming from a hole in the high ceiling. In the very center were an assortment of cauldrons and long wooden spoons sticking out of each of them. On the walls were shelves filled with all kinds of bottles. Each had a kind of liquid, mist, or flower inside. Jack and Sally had to remember they were in Valentine Town, or else they would have been sure they had gone home by accident.

"What is this place?" Sally asked as she walked over to the shelves.

"The Enchantment Room. It is where all of my major magic comes from. You know, things I cannot do with just thought," Venus said as she joined the rag doll. "Like what you see?"

"It looks like the kitchen cabinet back at home, only bigger."

"I'll say," Jack said as he peered into one of the cauldrons. "How many of these do you need, Venus?"

"Be a dear and just grab the joined ones, Jack."

"Joined ones?"

"You'll know them when you see them."

Jack looked around the cauldrons even more. There were small ones, medium-sized ones, and one he could fit into easily. There were cauldrons in all shorts of colors and metals, and cauldrons within cauldrons. Then, Jack came upon two that seemed to be stuck together. The pair of fused cauldrons was small enough to carry, although the gleam from its silver surface was a bit blinding at first. Jack put the cauldrons on a wooden table near the largest cauldron he saw and noticed that both of the fused cauldrons had joined hearts on them before Venus and Sally joined him.

"See, I knew you would find them," Venus said as she placed some empty bottles and materials next to the joined cauldrons.

"Venus, don't we need fire to make the ingredients mix well?" Sally asked as the goddess grabbed two wooden spoons.

"No, and you will see why," Venus said as she took an orchid and a rose out of her pile of materials. "Jack, you put the petals of the orchid in one cauldron. Sally, do the same with the rose in the other. Be sure not to mix them."

"Why not?" Sally asked as she carefully took the rose and began to pick off its petals.

"It will tamper with the potions."

"We're going to drink these?" Jack asked in a surprised tone as he examined the orchid.

"You will if you want to have children one day."

"It's a little strange, really," Jack said as he too started to pick petals from the orchid and put them in his cauldron.

"You are certainly not one to talk, Pumpkin King," Venus said.

"Point taken," Jack said as he finished plucking the orchid's petals.

"What comes next?" Sally asked, putting the leftover stem from the rose down on the table.

"Sally, pour this milk into your cauldron," Venus said as she handed Sally a cup of milk.

"Do I get milk too? Can it be chocolate?" Jack asked while Sally poured the milk in her cauldron.

"No. You get spring water," Venus said as she passed a bottle of it to Jack.

"Why can't the potions be identical?" Sally asked, noticing Jack's slight look of disappointment as he poured the water in his cauldron.

"They have different purposes. One is to make you biologically ready to be a mother and the other is for Jack to be capable of having children to begin with. If we mix the wrong ingredients the wrong way, well, we would have a kind of gender problem," Venus said. "It's for your own good, dearies."

"What's after the water and milk?" Jack asked.

"Glad you asked. Now come the traits."

"Traits?" Sally asked just as Venus took out bottles of colored mists.

"Here I have bottled essences of the six most important traits that both of you need to be good spouses and parents. They are patience, compassion, trust, faith, common sense, and of course, a grand old helping of love. Watch and be amazed."

Venus uncorked the bottles with a wave of her hands and didn't even flinch when the mists shot right out of their containers. Jack and Sally ducked for a few seconds before they realized that the mists were harmless. In fact, they danced around the pair, as if feeling out what they needed most. After a short while, the mists dived into their respective cauldrons. Of course, most of the common sense mist, a cool shade of blue, settled in Jack's cauldron. Apparently, he needed it more than Sally did; that and faith, a white mist that followed the common sense. Sally's cauldron became home to the larger amounts of patience and trust, gray and yellow mists, respectively. The pink compassion mist was spread evenly in the mixtures while the red love mist lingered in the air before seeping back into its bottle and corking itself.

"Hey, what's the idea?" Jack said to the bottle entitled 'Love'.

"Now, now, this is a better sign than you think," Venus said as she examined the bottle. "It feels you have enough love to go around as it is. Any more and you might explode with it."

"I think we can let it be, Jack," Sally said as the potions began to bubble.

"See? All the traits are heating the potions," Venus said. "No fire necessary."

"Amazing. I haven't seen this kind of magic at home. Have you?" Jack asked Sally.

"No. I guess every world has its own kind," Sally said.

"When the potions settle, you will have to drink them. Pay no mind to the taste, it is the effects you want. I suggest you two start stirring them to get a good consistency," Venus said.

"When will effects happen?" Jack asked when he and Sally began to stir their respective potions with the wooden spoons.

"In about a month. However, that will not be the final step in your dual metamorphosis," Venus said as she grabbed two very small vials from a nearby shelf.

"What's in those?" Sally asked, noticing the golden shimmer in the vials.

"These two hold the Essence of Life. The potions will allow you to enjoy the fun aspect of creation, but no more than that. These vials are the key to any little ones you might have. You are to keep these under lock and key until you feel ready to begin a family. When you do, you must both drink from one of the vials."

"Why can't we have them now?" Jack asked.

"The Stork specified that you remain a couple for a period of time. Without the essence in your systems, you will not be able to create life, either by accident or on purpose. I think it is the best course of action, just as long as you follow my instructions," Venus said before noticing the bubbling in the cauldrons had stopped. "Well, I'll go fetch you some drinking glasses. Time to drink up," she said before leaving the room, taking the vials with her.

"That was fast," Sally said as she peered into her cauldron.

"Sally, if any of this is getting too uncomfortable for you, we can leave," Jack said.

"I'm fine, Jack. Are you?"

"Not really. I haven't been fine since I had to drop my pants."

"Oh. Does this make you feel any better?" Sally asked as she wrapped her arms around him.

"A little," Jack said before realizing he and Sally had stopped stirring the potions. "Uh-oh."

"Uh-oh?" Sally asked.

"Were we supposed to stop stirring those?"

"Well, they look fine to me," Sally said, letting Jack go and looking at the potions. "Not too thick, not too thin. Just right."

"Do I really need all that common sense?" Jack asked, looking into his settled potion and then to Sally.

"Maybe it'll help us," Sally replied before the both of them heard a crash from the other side of the doors.

The pair didn't hesitate to walk over to the doors and see what had happened outside. Venus was looking over two broken glasses for a moment before glaring angrily at the person before her. Apparently, Saint Valentine had "accidentally" gotten in her way as she walked back to the Enchantment Room. This was going to be quite the confrontation.

"Oops," Saint Valentine said coldly.

"You did that on purpose!" Venus exclaimed.

"I have been very lenient with you, Venus."

"Hardly. All you do is spy on my every move over my shoulder. I really liked those glasses, you know."

"Have you put the Essence of Life in the potions?"

"Of course not! Were you paying attention to the Stork?"

"I was. Venus, you cannot interfere with the life-creating aspect of lovemaking. It is a sin."

"Only to you and your repressed people. Valentine, come on!"

"So you are just going to ignore the Essence of Life?"

"No! They are going to drink it when they are ready."

"That is not how it is supposed to work. They are supposed to have as many children as the Lord will grant upon them."

"Tell me, Valentine," Venus said, squinting at the saint, "How many little Skellingtons would _you_ like running around? Ten? Twenty, even? Think about how curious they would all be, just dropping into our world whenever they pleased or any other ones and causing all sorts of trouble. Imagine Nicholas reprimanding you for not bending the rules this one time. Go on, I dare you."

"I... well, I see your point," Saint Valentine said as he grew pale at the thought. "If you have gone this far breaking the rules, then I might as well help you. I will replace those glasses," he finished as he ran off, not noticing Venus cheer to herself.

"That wasn't very nice," Jack said, causing Venus to turn back to the doors.

"No need to take it personally, Jack. Just using good old divine manipulation. Works every time," Venus said, winking happily. "Honestly, it should be called Venus' Day."

"Are you sure we shouldn't drink the essence and the potions together?" Sally asked Venus. "He seemed awfully mad that we weren't going to."

"Valentine is simply stuck in his ways, most of his kind are. They stick to rules that were created thousands of years ago and refuse to budge from them. There are all kinds of technologies that allow couples enjoy time together without worry that I feel are absolutely marvelous. So they delay Nature, they don't _cancel_ it."

"What are these technologies?" Jack asked, watching Venus' face begin to grow a bit red.

"Oh, well... erm, no need for you to worry about them. Not yet," Venus said, relieved to hear Saint Valentine's footsteps. "About time," she said, turning around to face the saint.

"Do these suit your needs?" Saint Valentine asked as he passed Venus white ceramic mugs.

"These will do. Thank you, Valentine. You are making the right choice," Venus said as the saint walked away, heavily sighing. "Well, come along you two; those potions are not going to drink themselves."

Jack and Sally followed Venus back into the Enchantment Room. Neither of them said a word as she gathered their potions in the mugs and handed the right ones to each of them. She bowed her head to them before exiting the room. The Goddess of Love was certainly one to know when couples needed some privacy, and this was definitely one of those moments.

"This is it," Jack said to Sally, gulping a bit. "After we drink this, we're not going to be the way we are now. Not exactly, anyway."

"We'll be better, right?" Sally asked.

"Right," Jack said, nodding bravely. "On the count of three, we drink. One," Jack started.

"Two," Sally said, readying the mug to her lips.

"Three," the both said in unison before drinking down the contents of their mugs.

Where will they go from here? Is there anything else Venus has to tell Jack and Sally? Or can they just go off to Halloween Town and wait for the potions to start working? That's for the next chapter to answer, folks. (Re-edit Comment: I really like how this chapter came out. One of my favorite mixes.)


	6. Final Thoughts

Author's Note: The Nightmare Before Christmas was the inspiration for this story and all of my others on this site. Deflowering its heroes in the cleanest way possible has been quite a lot of fun. Unfortunately, it's time to say goodbye as Jack and Sally begin to take in whatever those potions had to offer. Also, say thank you to Tim Burton, Danny Elfman, Henry Selick, Disney, and Touchstone Pictures. Without them and their astonishing minds, none of us here would have been inspired. If anyone deserves to be loved, it's definitely all of them (and Capcom for making a sequel!).

The golden heart doors opened shakily to the one person waiting outside. Her right foot tapped impatiently as one black-sleeved arm, holding a cup in it's skeletal hand, stretched out of the opening doorway. Venus watched intently as the arm tipped the cup upside down. No drop of potion dropped to the floor. This could only mean one thing.

"You drank it!" Venus exclaimed happily as Sally and the rest of Jack appeared before her. "Jack, you dramatic brute! You had me scared for a minute."

"Well, it's what I do," Jack said before holding his right hand to his mouth to cover a small burp. "Sorry."

"You are excused," Venus said before looking over to Sally. "How about you?"

"I drank mine too," Sally said as she turned her cup upside down to show there was no potion left. "They tasted better than you said they would."

"Well, I've never been much of a magic chef, but at least one of my potions turned out to be delectable. Now all that matters is what they do, besides give you gas."

"Since they weren't identical, we won't be having the same side effects, right?" Jack asked.

"Right. You know, Jack, I would start wearing baggier knickers if I were you," Venus said.

"What is it with you and knickers?"

"I am just pointing out that they are a bit... tight. I suppose you can cross that bridge when you come to it."

"What about me?" Sally asked as Jack fretted over the ever present issue of his pants.

"My dear, I am sad to say you may finally meet with the true sign of womanhood. Such a shame, since you avoided it for so long already," Venus sighed.

"There's no way of avoiding it even more?"

"Not for another thirty or forty years," Venus said, watching Sally's jaw drop. "Hey, you have it easy, some women have it for fifty. Anyway, if you feel any cramping and such in your lower abdomen in the next twenty eight or thirty days, you come straight here. I will set you up with all you need and we can make a Girl's Day Out of it."

"Thank you, Venus," Sally said.

"You are welcome, both of you. Before I send you on your merry way home, is there anything else you wish to ask me of this whole subject?"

"We can't have children until we drink the Essence of Life, right?" Jack asked.

"That is right. Speaking of which, here you go," Venus said as she passed the vials to Jack and Sally.

"So no matter how much we try, nothing will happen until we drink what's in here?" Jack asked as he shook his vial slightly.

"Yes. Do not go saying that around Valentine; he already finds that 'sinful'. He probably expects you to abstain from unity until after marriage too. Apparently, Valentine thinks _everyone_ in the Universe is or should be a saint."

"I feel bad, breaking all of these rules when you're helping us," Sally said.

"Think nothing of it," Venus said.

"We can always _try_ to abstain. How hard can it be?" Jack asked Sally.

"I would explain to you, but I think both of you will find out soon enough. When are you getting married anyway?" Venus asked, watching Jack and Sally look at each other and shrug. "You do not know?"

"We haven't picked a day yet," Sally said.

"Oh, my, my, my! This simply cannot be. Darlings, I will help you. I will have an army of cherubs planning your nuptials. Just say the word and it will be."

"Venus, that really isn't nece-" Jack started.

"It will be wonderful! Sparrows will sing and all the rice will fly in the air. I will even get the Muses to perform. They owe me," Venus said to herself as she walked away from the couple. "Ta ta, loves! Check back with me soon!"

"Uh-oh," Jack said as Venus disappeared outside.

"I guess she wouldn't be too happy if she knew the Mayor was planning the wedding," Sally said as she tucked her vial of essence in her pocket.

"To think, I figured getting his thoughts off of Halloween for a change would do him good," Jack said as the pair made their way out of the temple. "I don't know what I was thinking."

"I think you were still sleep-deprived from having Takoda in the house," Sally said.

"That had to be it. The Mayor showed up with the house all a mess and started talking about plastic pumpkins and then... I offered him the job of wedding planner. Yes, I definitely wasn't in my right mind."

"Well, he hasn't been at the house since. The idea's really kept him busy, Jack."

"Maybe a little too busy. It's been six days since the Mayor dropped in. He's probably going to stop by today. Think we should take a detour to another world, Sally?"

"Jack, come on. Maybe having two wedding planners will turn out ok. All we'll have to do is show up."

"Good point," Jack said as the pair walked out into the open and made their way into the forest.

"Feel anything yet?" Sally asked.

"Well, it's a little chilly for spring," Jack replied.

"I, um, I meant about the potions."

"Oh. No, nothing yet. How about you?"

"Nothing," Sally said, looking at the ground as she walked.

"Everything's going to be fine," Jack said as she wrapped his right arm around her as they walked closer and closer to the clearing.

"We're going home differently than how we left. Saint Valentine said we're messing with Nature. Think it will mess with home too?" Sally asked as Jack opened the door to Halloween Town.

"Only one way to find out," he said as one hand held the knob and the other held Sally's.

After looking back to the woods for one more time, Sally dove right into the Halloween door with Jack. Halloween Town would just have to adapt, if anything. So no natural offspring had come from there, so what? There's always a first time for everything. And who better to break the rules than the Pumpkin King who stole Christmas and his lab-made love who kept sedating her creator to explore the town? Perhaps the pair were really meant to have children after all. All they needed was a little help.

The End

P.S.- Hope it was funny, fluffy, and fulfilling, all at the same time. Thank you all for reading! (Re-edit Comment:Thanks again!)


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